The time-warp
Well I actually gave up on the blog at this point as I had a lot of work to do and what started off as a bit of fun started consuming quite a bit of my time. You see now for me its day 43 (monday 12th july). I’m sat here on a campsite in Carcassone with a bottle of wine, some cheese and a rock hard French baguette. You can tell the time of day not only by the position of the sun, but also by how hard your baguette it (you buy them warm from the oven every morning... by the same time next morning you could break your teeth on them). It’s now almost 10 in the evening and the sun disappeared over an hour ago.
Now it seems I am faced with something of a public backlash over the slackness of my blog of late. I fear my friends would lynch me if I returned without a further update, such is the strength of the revolt. Now as long as I can remember most of my friends have been revolting.... ok sorry, I borrowed that off Kenneth Williams. It was worthy of repeating though ;-) Thing is I quite enjoy writing it so I guess I can devote a bit of time to it.
Ok, so time travel aside I will do my best complete the illusion of a continuous passage of time by filling in the details as best I can remember. The posts will be somewhat shorter though.
Bon Continuation as they say in France
The next 6 days I really got stuck into my work project. I had found a great campsite that was really cheap (especially for the coast). The internet worked, the people were friendly and I had a great office environment. I was loving it.
Each day was pretty much the same. It typically consisted of getting up at 8 and going to the local shop to get my French baguette. They cook them on the campsite and if you pick them up before 9 they are still hot! I then walk 2 minutes back to my camp, put the coffee on and put loads of butter and duck pate on the bread.
With breakfast and the three ‘S’s out of the way... well actually I still have a beard so 2of the three ‘S’s, I position my desk in the shade and engage my brain in the task in hand... trying not to get sidetracked by;
By 12.30 I have to relocate my desk to maintain my shady environment but by then I figure it’s probably time for a break anyway. I pack away the computer, have a snack then make my way to the beach via the lagoon (the walk itself is great). Now like I said before I’m not a beach person but for an hour this is just what I need to give my mind a rest. It’s a 10 minute walk to the beach. I lay out my towel and jump straight in. I swim around for about 20 minutes then get out, cover myself in factor maximum and lie on the towel to dry off (in the intense heat this takes about 5 minutes but I generally stay there for half an hour or so).
Presque vie fini
Now the first day I dived into the sea head first was almost ‘vie fini’. The sea gets very deep quite quickly and I dived in straight on top of some very large rocks. I did see them but totally misjudged the distance due to the refraction effect of the water. I managed to get my hand between the rock and my head and badly cut my hand on some barnacles. Seriously though there is no give in those rocks and if I hadn’t have got my hand in the way you wouldn’t be reading this.
Then I return back to camp and after a quick shower, I resume my mental engagement with the ethereal forces of pure logic. At least until about 8 o’clock. Thats when I generally drink lots of wine and eat lots of cheese.
The Dutch choice of words
Few things really differentiated one day from the next but there were a few funny moments I made a mental note of. I’ve mentioned before about the Dutch and how they like to pretend they are Sean Connery with their funny accents. Well on this occasion I was sat at the bar in the campsite during the one of the Dutch world cup football games. Towards the end of the match a Dutch guy walks in and pointing to the floor behind my stool says “Can I take a sheet here?”. Cedric the barman who speaks 4 languages doesn’t even bat an eyelid; “yeah sure” he says. Only I saw the funny side although it took me a moment to realise what he meant. He wanted to ‘position’ a ‘seat’ in front of the tellybox!
The little jumping spider with the long middle leg is back!
How do spiders do what they do?
The other funny thing happened late one night as I was working by the faint fluorescent strip light from the window of my vehicle. I was sat at the desk concentrating on the screen when I became aware of something off to the left in my field of vision. It was close and at first I thought it was flying bug of some kind. I move right, but it moved right. I move left and it was still there... too close for me to focus on it properly. Then I realised it was a spider, of reasonable proportions, and it had somehow attached one end of its web to my head and the other to the Landrover!! It was about 3 inches from the head end and closing! How.... ? Did I fall asleep? The mind boggles!
One day instead of going to the beach I decided to drive into Narbonne town and do a bit of exploring. Narbonne is a very pretty town with a canal that runs right through the centre, an amazing old church with a big square and lots of cafes, restaurants, bars etc. The bridges that cross the canal are all decorated with flowers. This is a common theme in all French towns; well kept greenery, gardens and flowers, the French love ‘em.
Getting hot in here!
Whilst I was in Narbonne I called in at an immoblier to ask about old properties in the area, perhaps for renovaton. The office was stiffling! No air con... you could barely breathe. I had been walking most of the day and was very hot. Quite honestly I didn’t know how long I could sit there without drenching my T-Shirt. The lady opposite me was about 45, attractive but not conventionally so and heavily bosomed with a really intense, but not unfriendly, look about her. She was wearing a low cut summery dress and no bra. I imagine her to be the kind of woman that if she wanted you, you wouldn’t get much say in the matter! Not the kind of woman I generally go for and in the heat it’s normally the last thing on your mind so I was surprised to find my mouth saying ‘maisons’ but my mind isn’t thinking ‘maisons’. She’s looking at with an intense look that saying ‘you’re looking at my breasts aren’t you?’. Oh god she knows! I’m trying really hard not too but where she is perspiring too it’s making them all shiny!! It’s been a while for me and the unaccustomed dry period is playing havoc with my concentration.
She explained that most of the places they have are in the Narbonne area which is very expensive due to its proximity to the sea. Now they have another office in a small village about 20 Kms south, also on the sea, but they have properties further inland that are cheaper. I make an appointment for 9 Tuesday morning to see 3 properties. And that unfortunately concluded my erotic business with Guyliane.
Whats the point of....
Just various things I’ve notice along the way...
I’ll add more of these as I find them.
Just another interesting observation is about the German language. I hear a lot of it on the beach. Doesn't it sound odd? Unlike French the sounds are like English but with unrecognizable words. In particular I would like to know what a 'nein shagger' is. And what is an 'Ubber dinkt'?
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